April 2023 – Allison Biel

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Past Life Memories

It is not unusual for young children to talk or reference another life. This occurs once they have learned to talk and up to around the age of six. In rare cases, the memories persist into adulthood, although usually with much less intensity. For example, Shirley MacLaine (American actress) has made the following claim, “You know, I think I had my first past life recall when I was 7”.

This might be a vivid imagination or play, but sometimes it becomes clear it’s more than that. They talk quite naturally about another life and do not realise that this can cause concern or alarm in their parents. You might find your children’s claims to remember previous lives incredible, but for the child these memories are simply part of their experience of life.

The sorts of statements made by a child who seems to be remembering a previous life can be quite varied. The following is designed to give an idea of the kinds of things a parent or guardian might hear. Typical statements can include, “I have (had) another mommy / daddy”, “When I was big, I used to …” and “I used to live in … ”. These recollections and statements may also be accompanied by other behaviours, such as unexplained phobias or preferences.

So, what do I do if my child talks about a past life? Well, sharing the memories can be emotionally intense for both the child and parent. But you should listen with an open mind and asked open ended questions such as “Tell me more about …” or “What else do you remember?”

Sometimes a child may insist that they want to go to or live with their old family or old home. While this might be upsetting it’s often useful to make it clear that while they may have had another family from a previous life, their current family is the one they have for their current life.

You might want to make notes about anything your child says about a past life. This can be particularly interesting if the child gives enough specific information to identify whose past life is being described.

I have written before about the Division of Perceptual Studies (DOPS) which is a research unit of the Psychiatry and Neurobehavioral Sciences of the University of Virginia’s School of Medicine in the United States. Amongst other things they research the reported past lives of children experience memories like these. They are interested in hearing about cases of young children who are currently recalling memories of a previous life.

You can email their research assistant, Diane Morini, at dsm3j@virginia.edu or DSM3J@uvahealth.org to submit your observations and experiences of your child’s behaviours and statements about memories of a previous life. They do not disclose any information in the report without the explicit permission from the parents. And only qualified study team members will have access to your report. They have a strict code of privacy and confidentiality in all instances.

Self-soothing

I wrote recently about the importance of self-love and self-care. By chance I had a conversation with someone who had read my blog, but who I think had slightly misunderstood it. So, I would like to say a few words about self-soothing as opposed to self-love.

So what is the difference? Well for me, self-care is a deliberate, proactive, behaviour to look after yourself – eating healthily, taking some exercise, getting enough sleep or finding time to relax and perhaps meditation. It’s all about looking after yourself and doing things for you. Self-love is about being kind and tolerant with yourself and not be concerned with what others think.

Self-soothing on the other hand is doing something in the short term that might make you forget a problem, but does not really help to solve it. For example, have a bar of chocolate or a glass / bottle of wine after a bad day at work. You might feel you deserve it, but it won’t really help. Self-soothing can become self-sabotaging and unhealthy both physically and mentally. In extreme cases it can lead to comfort eating, drug use and alcohol abuse.

Not all self-soothing is bad though. The trick is to make the self-soothing activity also health for you. If you have had a stressful day at work rather than a bottle of wine, perhaps go for a run. What is your go-to food when you are stressed or unhappy? Ice cream? Burger and chips? Anything with lots of carbs and fat or sugar? Perhaps try chicken soup instead.

Nobuyuki ‘Nobu’ Matsuhisa (Japanese celebrity chef and restaurateur) once said, “I eat soup noodles for comfort. In fact, noodles of any kind. It’s a food that is very easy to eat; it’s very soothing and comfortable, too”.

Remember, self-love and self-care are all important parts of being healthy both physically and mentally. Self-soothing can be dangerous and can lead to other problems. If you need help or advice then contact me.

Hypnotherapy for Pain

Hypnotherapy can be used to treat a wide range of conditions. One which I have been doing a lot of work with recently is pain reduction and management. Clinical trials have shown that Hypnotherapy can eliminate, or at least reduce, pain and it does so without the side-effects of pain killing drugs. Even better, you can to use these techniques for yourself so you can become self-reliant and in control of your pain.

Over 8 million people in the UK say they are in chronic / persistent pain 19.5 million people in the UK are in pain at least once a day. And the older we get, the more we are affected by chronic pain. A recent survey found 20% of over 55s are in chronic pain, with an additional 19% being in pain at least once a day, though they would not describe it as chronic.

It’s a little known fact that all pain, no matter where or how it is felt, is produced by the brain. When you injure yourself, the nerves of your body can only tell your brain that something is wrong. So when you sub your toe, it’s your brain and not your toe, that interprets this and says to you, ‘Ow, this hurts’.

Because of the way hypnotherapy works there are a number of benefits. These include it having an impact on the effect of the pain as well as the pain itself, reduces stress and anxiety associated with pain and avoid or reduce the need for opioids. A well-known example of this is hypnotherapy can be used to reduce or eliminate the need for pain relief during child birth. This is called Hypnobirthing and there are a number of well know people who have used it, including Jessica Alba and the Princess of Wales (Catherine Middleton).

Now this is fantastic news, but a word of caution. Before you can use hypnotherapy for pain relief you need to try to understand the cause of the pain. Pain is essentially a side effect of something else. Removing the pain without trying to understand it can be a problem. Once the cause of the pain is diagnosed or understood hypnotherapy can be used to reduce or eliminate this flow of information. It can also be used to address pain that has no obvious cause but only once obvious causes have been investigated.

BBC’s One Show medical presenter, Michael Mosley, investigated hypnosis for pain relief with Dr Stewart Derbyshire (Psychologist and pain researcher) of Birmingham University. The results illustrate how effective it can be. As Wim Hof (Dutch extreme athlete noted for his ability to withstand low temperatures) said, “Your brain has the power to modify your pain perception”.

And traditional clinical hypnotherapy is not the only way hypnosis can help with pain relief. As part of Introspective Hypnosis sessions the root cause of physical ailments can be revealed. This can often be from a previous experience.

So if you are suffering and want help to manage the pain and associated symptoms then contact me.

Oblique Strategies

Oblique Strategies, subtitled Over One Hundred Worthwhile Dilemmas, was a card-based method for promoting creativity jointly created by Brian Eno (British musician, composer and record producer) and Peter Schmidt (British artist and painter). It was first published in 1975 and it originally consisted of a deck of 113 cards, each with a creative suggestion on it. Eno has used them while working with music artists such as David Bowie and Coldplay.

A few of the suggestions are specific to music composition but most are generic ideas and advice which can be used to spur creative thinking, breakthrough a creative block, deadlock or a dilemma. Examples include:

Use an old idea.
Look closely at the most embarrassing details and amplify
Only one element of each kind.
What would your closest friend do?
What to increase? What to reduce?
Are there sections? Consider transitions.
Try faking it!
Repetition is a form of change
Honour thy error as a hidden intention.
Ask your body.
Work at a different speed.

Inspiration can be making a connection you had not made before or looking at something in a new way. And that is why these oblique strategies can be so useful. As Steve Jobs (Co-Founder, Chairman, and CEO of Apple) put it, “Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things”.

The 2001 edition introduction includes the following observation, “These cards evolved from separate observations of the principles underlying what we were doing. Sometimes they were recognised in retrospect (intellect catching up with intuition), sometimes they were identified as they were happening, sometimes they were formulated. They can be used as a pack, or by drawing a single card from the shuffled pack when a dilemma occurs in a working situation. In this case the card is trusted even if its appropriateness is quite unclear”.

Now, you don’t have to have a physical deck of cards anymore. Created in 2022 by Maksim Morozov there is an online version with 213 different suggestions. This is very useful in itself, but you might want to craft a few suggestions that are specific to the industry you work in.

If you are struggling with a lack of creativity then hypnotherapy can help. Contact me for more details.

Golden Rule

The first week of April is Golden Rule week. So, what is the Golden Rule? Never wear a dark bra under a light top? Well, that’s good advice but the Golden Rule is to treat others as you would like others to treat you. Or to put it another way, what you wish upon others, you wish upon yourself.

The Golden Rule was preached by Jesus of Nazareth at the Sermon on the Mount and he described it as the second great commandment. It is in some ways a catch all and makes some of the other commandments redundant. Would you want to be disrespected, stolen from or murdered? No? Well, be respectful, don’t steal or kill others then.

But it’s not Christian in origin. In fact, the earliest known reference to advice like it was by the Chinese sage, Confucius, in the 6th Century BC. It’s such good advice that almost every religion, movement and civilisation have had something similar from Ancient Greece and Rome, to Islam, to Wicca and Scientology.

What the Golden Rule is trying to teach or make us have more is empathy for others. People sometimes mistake sympathy for empathy and vice versa. So what is empathy? It’s the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation.

Being more empathetic increases the bonds between us and the love we have for each other. This concern we show for each other will make the world a more considerate, peaceful and equitable place.

Chad Kroeger (Canadian musician)put it very well when he said, “At the end of the day, the Golden Rule is called the Golden Rule for a reason – do unto others as you would have done to you. In terms of commandments you could probably just do that one and you would be well off. If everybody could adhere to that one, we’d be OK, as long as a masochist wasn’t in charge of people”.

So, what can you do to help? Well, everyone has the capacity of being empathetic. Empathy can be learned through practice, but it might means changing your mind-set. Trying thinking about things from other people’s point of view. Turn over a new leaf and ditch the Schadenfreude (pleasure or self-satisfaction that comes from the troubles of others). Be tolerant, respectful, supportive and generous to others.